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["Hagrid"]

Some handy tricks for the upcoming election season

The “wasted vote” syndrome is another reason why the secret ballot is a good idea. It seems that if you don’t vote for the candidate who’s going to win, you are wasting your vote. When you thoroughly detest certain candidates, you should vote for one of them anyway. If you vote for someone who loses, even if you’d really like him or her to hold the office, that makes you a loser. Voting for the lesser of the evils is much safer, and means you may not have to burn in heck. Also, you don’t have to think a lot, which can cause headaches or maybe even obesity. Voting for a Libertarian, for example, has been rumored to cause dread diseases in laboratory rats. In general, laboratory rats do not want to be free. They want to be fed, so they vote for someone who promises them food.