Oakland Tribune
Aug. 23, 2003
WOMAN BITES POSTAL WORKER
Postal carrier Roshan Washington was assaulted on Saturday afternoon while delivering mail in downtown Oakland. Mr. Washington, now listed in good condition at Kaiser Oakland, describes his ordeal as follows: "It was the strangest thing. This lady walked into the lobby while I was locking up the boxes after delivering the mail. She opened up her mailbox and quickly shuffled through her mail. Next thing I know, she's screaming at the top of her lungs, foaming at the mouth, and beating her head, hard, against the mailboxes. I didn't know what was happening; I thought maybe she was having a seizure. Then the <expletive> lunges at me and sinks her teeth into my calf!! I was spinning around and around and she was hanging on like a pitbull. Fortunately, another tenant came into the lobby at that point and kept kicking her until she let go of my leg."
The suspect, a Ms. F. Jones, is currently being held without bail and is scheduled to undergo a mental competency examination prior to the preliminary hearing. Her court-appointed attorney, Hamilton Wu, was quoted as saying "My client is clearly a very sick woman and deserves our compassion. I'm going to urge the judge to rule for heavy medication rather than incarceration.
Homeowners' association president Madeleine Van Arpels expressed shock and dismay over this incident. "It's just so bizarre. She's lived here for 5 years and seemed like such a sweet, quiet girl. First the carjacking in the garage two weeks ago, and now this? I just don't know what's happening to this country!"
Ms. Jones, who was unavailable for comment, has no prior criminal record and no known history of mental illness. Mr. Washington noted that, immediately prior to the attack, she screamed something about a "ballot". U.C. Berkeley political pundit Bruce Cain, upon hearing of the incident, noted, "This whole recall thing is putting a lot of stress on all of us. I understand this Ms. Jones is a Cal grad, so it's safe to assume she's either a Democrat or a Green; perhaps the whole Schwarzennegger thing was just more than she could bear. Frankly, I think we'll be seeing more of this sort of incident in the weeks ahead."
"I don't know, man", Mr. Washington is reported as saying. "She was screaming about wanting her ballot, and 'North to Alaska', and some other crazy <expletive>. There's just too many crazies in this town." Mr. Washington is currently undergoing a series of rabies shots and will be on medical leave for several weeks due to the severity of the damage to his leg.