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Author Topic: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)  (Read 5022 times)

mdr

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A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« on: July 08, 2012, 06:48:49 pm »

Hello friends, first time poster but long time advocate. I'm signed up for a 2013 move but I have run into an issue. I'm 29 and married with a mortgage in Las Vegas. My wife was immediately receptive to the idea and so eventually I went ahead and signed up for FSP just under a year ago. Then I started to talk to my parents about it afterward since they live about 70 miles away from us. They seem really upset with the idea, especially my mother (she was in TEARS) but probably my dad just as much, though he keeps things to himself much of the time.  They are both a bit older, 62 and 71, and now I'm feeling the guilt trip far more than the impending trip. I want to hear how others have dealt with this and what I might do to resolve this. I have a huge problem with the TSA and don't see a lot of flying in my future so I am concerned with how this will affect them. We are their only family that live nearby and it hurts a lot now that things are looking to be a reality with NH, never thought about how it would impact my parents while it was still just a dream.  Thank you kindly and I look forward to your responses!
« Last Edit: July 08, 2012, 06:50:38 pm by mdr »
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Jerry

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2012, 06:56:26 pm »

Bring them along!
Old folks can live in New Hampshire too.
I was as old as your mother when I moved.
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americanpatriot28

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2012, 08:25:04 pm »

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals."
—Martin Luther King Jr.

White or black, indulgent or intolerant.......this should sum it up. Good luck in your decision brother. I'm sure it's not the first time you have given your parents temporary grief.
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mdr

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2012, 11:31:38 pm »

Bring them along!
Old folks can live in New Hampshire too.
I was as old as your mother when I moved.

We will see, they aren't really quite the "proactive" liberty lovers I am and Ron Paul won the county they live in with a massive majority in both 2008 and 2012 (Nye County, Nevada).  All they want is to live in peace and they do not get much trouble there.  They seem to have built their nest there and they have repeatedly said it is the place in which they wish to live the rest of their lives.  Perhaps I should just come right out and say I want them to move with us. . . honesty is the best policy (in most cases), right?

I'm sure it's not the first time you have given your parents temporary grief.

Nope, certainly not.  Though I am most definitely the least disappointing of their children by far.
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time4liberty

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2012, 11:48:26 pm »

I'd give them a sincere invitation, try to convince them (but don't be too pushy of course) -- if they're interested, help them explore options, and generally make it easy for them.

This accomplishes a few things:

1. It sincerely expresses that you want to live near them, and are not trying to escape them. This may mean quite a bit to them in itself.

2. If they agree, problem solved!

3. If they won't go, it shows they value living in NV more than living near you (there's nothing wrong with that -- my folks also chose to live far away). However, it kind of makes it hard for them to guilt trip you about also prioritizing living where you want to live over living near them ...
« Last Edit: July 08, 2012, 11:50:07 pm by time4liberty »
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mdr

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2012, 02:47:23 am »

3. If they won't go, it shows they value living in NV more than living near you (there's nothing wrong with that -- my folks also chose to live far away). However, it kind of makes it hard for them to guilt trip you about also prioritizing living where you want to live over living near them ...


This is exactly what I was looking for!  Thank you kind sir!  Where I am able to give good advice to friends in their personal situations, I am often blinded in my own.  Perspective is everything and your observation is keen.

I will mention my desire for them to follow in passing and half-joking, this will set their minds in motion before they are able to prematurely turn me down.  My first task will be in finding a job there, I will offer to move them on my dime upon selling my house in Vegas.  Perhaps I could find a property with an accessory unit, I'd like them near me as they age.

This is a good plan!  I will have to flesh it out and give myself time to process everything.  This really changes everything, thanks!
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TJames

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2012, 05:37:31 pm »

Thank you time4liberty. I do need to escape haha but that isn't my motive. It seems they think it is just about politics and that I don't care about them but I will be leaving home for the first time so this is inevitable. I don't understand why I'm guilted.
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freedomroad

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2012, 06:16:13 pm »

You could also mention that they are more than welcome to visit you in NH.  Mention how hot it gets in the summer in NV and that your home in NH will be open to them.  Offer to visit them in the winter when it is cold in NH.

There are direct flights from both Boston and Manchester to Las Vegas.  Several FSP movers visit Las Vegas from time to time including a NH state rep who moved from Las Vegas to NH and several businessman.

If you have or are going to have kids, mention that.  Everyone knows Las Vegas is a horrible place to raise children.  It has high crime, bad traffic, it is full of garbage and is highly polluted.  NH, on the other hand, is the best place to raise kids.  It is the most liveable state, has the lowest crime, has the lowest poverty, has much better government schools than NV, has a strong home schooling community and so on.

http://freestateproject.org/101Reasons
79    New Hampshire has been ranked #1 in the nation for quality of life and livability 5 years in a row.
80    New Hampshire is the safest state in the country.
81    New Hampshire is the 2nd healthiest state in the nation.
82    New Hampshire is ranked 1st for health care quality.
83    New Hampshire has the 3rd fewest fatalities per 100 million miles driven.
84    New Hampshire is ranked 1st nationally in the index for child well-being.
87    New Hampshire offers many private/non-government schooling options, including home schools, Montessori schools, Waldorf schools, religious schools, boarding schools, and traditional private high schools.
88    New Hampshire has the highest standard of living in the country (based on poverty rate 2007-2009)
90    New Hampshire has the lowest teen pregnancy rate.
91    New Hampshire 4th graders ranked 1st place in a national science assessment test.
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KBCraig

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2012, 07:44:54 pm »

I was as old as your mother when I moved.

Oh, then "mdr" must be Methusela's initials!  ;D
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mdr

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2012, 12:25:07 am »


Oh, then "mdr" must be Methusela's initials!  ;D

Some of you may already know me from my websites!  :^)
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Ward Griffiths

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2012, 10:40:36 pm »

Huh.  When I graduated from Laconia High School in 1973, my biggest gift was a suitcase.  I could take a hint.  But I'm moving back to New Hampshire whether my family wants me there or not.  (For their sake and to avoid argument, I won't spend any more time in Manchester than I have to to make money selling chili to folks coming out of the sports stadium).

I lived in Las Vegas for a couple of years a bit over three decades back.  Wasn't crazy about the place then, doubt I could tolerate it now  for as long as a weekend.  Nye County ain't bad, since most of it is "owned" by the Feral government, so there's a limit on how many neighbors you could have.  I can see your folks point, to a point.  But commuting is an option if you don't like harsh winters the one place and/or hellish summers the other.

The first time I went through Vegas (approaching New Years end of '74) there was six inches of snow on the ground, a rarity there.  When I moved there in August '79, it rained for three straight days while I was unloading the truck and after.  The rest of my time there was "normal" in physical climate as far as I could tell.  (In other ways, well, polyandry isn't considered "normal" by some folks, scroom).
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Ward Griffiths    wdg3rd@comcast.net

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.  (Denis Diderot)

mdr

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Re: A Little More than Prospective Run Into Snag (family)
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2012, 02:36:09 am »

Wow Ward, you are quite the interesting fellow!  I'm sorry to hear of your estranged condition though I suppose there is some amount of freedom afforded you in it.

I've never been accused of being a slight man and given my heavily Scottish ancestry I tend to weather the cold far better than the heat.  I can deal with gross waves of summer sun so long as I am hydrated, have air flow (hot or cold), and a good reason to be out in it.  Otherwise I get very irritable which does not mesh with my typically jovial demeanor and can scare coworkers and loved ones alike for the discrepancy.

Cold weather and rain make me a happy man.  I love moisture and swift breezes.

As I stated in the OP, I am not amenable to the searches necessary for interstate air travel or entrusting strangers with the security of myself, my family, or our property, so I doubt I will often find myself back in Nevada once we make the move.  This saddens me because I am very close to my father.
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