Free State Project Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Pages: 1 [2]   Go Down

Author Topic: Walking away.  (Read 5392 times)

teemuv

  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 98
    • http://en.teemuvalimaki.fi/
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2009, 04:36:20 am »

nothing's free.
Exactly. This could also be used for the reason to break up the relationship.

Relationships hopefully give birth to children, so this is something worth of considering. You are responsible for deciding their future, too. There's a lot to consider about  :-\
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 02:57:27 pm by sj »
Logged

Keyser Soce

  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1256
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2009, 04:59:00 pm »


Regret is a bitter flavor to leave in your mouth, and freedom can lose its luster if the person you wanted to share it with is still back home.  I'd suggest dealing with the relationship first and foremost, NH isn't going anywhere.

Regret is a bitter flavor to keep in your mouth, and a relationship can lose its luster if the person you're in it with is holding you back.  I'd suggest choosing freedom first and foremost, relationships come and go (ask anyone who's had several).
Logged
"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man; brave, hated, and scorned. When his cause succeeds however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." -- Mark Twain

Keyser Soce

  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1256
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2009, 05:06:50 pm »

nothing's free.
Relationships hopefully give birth to children, so this is something worth of considering. You are responsible for deciding their future, too. There's a lot to consider about  :-\

?? Leave before she gets knocked up or you'll really be stuck.  >:D

p.s. I'm not suggesting you break any contracts you made or abandon your responsibilities. I am suggesting that you not get committed to something that will not effect your long term happiness.


« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 04:09:16 pm by sj »
Logged
"In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man; brave, hated, and scorned. When his cause succeeds however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." -- Mark Twain

K. Darien Freeheart

  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 760
    • K. Darien Freeheart's Facebook
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2009, 05:24:44 pm »

I won't throw them under a bus, but I know that some people have left long-time lovers for the FSP.

There was a time when my wife felt like my biggest barrier to being in New Hampshire, working to be more free. That's what it's especially exciting when she not only opened to the idea of moving, but began turning on the the ideas of liberty herself.
 
It's a tough, TOUGH place to be in. You'd not be alone either way.
Logged

TacyTraverso

  • FSP Participant
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 30
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2009, 09:11:40 pm »

I haven't moved yet, but I wondered if this issue would come up for me.  Thankfully, my wife has gotten on board (with some coaxing and a meeting with Dreepa). 

However, I am the type that my principles are more important than anyone or any love.  If I had whole heartily decided that moving to New Hampshire best served me, and my wife didn't want to join me, well, we'd probably part ways.  But, I'm also known as a bit of a selfish bastard, so, take it with a grain of salt.

Most importantly, you have to do what's best for you and make sure that who your with is compatible with your interests, no matter what they might be.
Logged
"Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today and you can make your tomorrow." - L. Ron Hubbard

"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda

"Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire." - Robert A. Heinlein

Dreepa

  • First 1000
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5124
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2009, 12:22:00 am »

I haven't moved yet, but I wondered if this issue would come up for me.  Thankfully, my wife has gotten on board (with some coaxing and a meeting with Dreepa). 



and it was nice meeting you both... (I think that your wife is going to end up being an activist... >:D)
Logged

daveneu

  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 156
  • You have no idea! But I do...
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2009, 05:44:59 am »

For what it's worth - When I first met my "then to be" wife (I didn't know it at the time), one of the things that came up was the issue of freedom of movement. In that discussion, I related my past and where I had been and why I had moved about - not for anything else at the time but opportunity for work. However, I let her know that safety was always a concern of mine and that if necessary, we may not always be where we are. Now, she has family here that she is not willing to move far away from - BUT she was willing to live within a reasonable traveling distance. It kind of set up a "no surprise" clause in the cement of our relationship. It is always important to do the "what ifs" with a future partner.

A perfect example of this is the issue of guns. Both of us never thought there would be a day when we would have guns in the house. For myself, it was not that I was against them or anything as such; it never entered my life. I was raised in the city of NY and much like owning a housepig wouldn't be something you would have in an apartment, gun ownership was just as much an outside thought. When 9/11 took place and I now thought it necessary to arm myself to protect our home, I was met with resistance from my now wife of 11 years. I understood her concerns (some of those concerns were the same ones I had quite frankly - we had a young son in our home) but argued my case "pro ownership." I showed her facts and figures that put the necessity of having a firearm into a favorable light. I did this over a period of several weeks - not to wear her down but to just give her facts as they came across my desk (I had always been internet savvy - why not?? - she had trained me to love computers since 1990). When she saw how much I felt it was a needed security tool and that I was willing to train to become safety conscious and proficient, she took a position of OK - I see your points and they make sense. This came to the point where she took training and found herself quite good with a shotgun.

When I told of my interest of moving to NH, she could see in my eyes that this was going to happen. A weird story it is - in 2000, we were taking a vacation up in the white mountains with our RV. To me it was just another trip at first - nothing special. In fact, it was a bit tiring as it was in the Summer and my teaching season was approaching so I had lesson plans on my mind. When we came to the "notch," and I saw the view, it was much like an alcoholic taking their very first drink (not knowing they are an alcoholic). We were in two cars and I clicked on my walkie-talkie and exclaimed to her in no uncertain terms - "I need to live here - or at least someplace near here in the future." BOOM! That was it. No discussion. It was like 1 and 1 is 2. Nothing to discuss. During the next week, I roamed about and found out more about the area - she had to go back and forth to work over the week so she was there basically on the weekends. As the next few years passed, my mom died leaving me an inheritance that right off the bat procured our land, developed it in to our personal campground and finally this year, getting our home installed (BTW, she picked out the land and I wasn't crazy about it at first - until I discovered that it was very close to where we first camped - she knew all the time what to do). In June, I'll be where I promised her I would be. She will still be in our other home as she still needs to work and care for her sick parents (I'll come in each month to help out - a week or so at a time). This will go on for a few years.

I thought this story may help others - hope it did.

Dave
Logged
Dave N.
The world of me in an easy-to-take capsule

teemuv

  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 98
    • http://en.teemuvalimaki.fi/
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2009, 03:46:58 am »

I thought this story may help others - hope it did.
It certainly gave me some points how to discuss this, again, at home. Thank you for your story.

One thing that I find constantly popping up is the issue of getting friends when a foreigner moves to NH. I keep saying, that being open and social she'd get plenty of friends. From what I've learned people are very active in all type of stuff in NH, but I'd like to know, and this might be off topic, if there's truly activity for women around the age of 27 and other activity than around freedom issues like painting.
Logged

sj

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3554
    • The Ridley Report
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2009, 10:05:19 am »

I thought this story may help others - hope it did.
It certainly gave me some points how to discuss this, again, at home. Thank you for your story.

One thing that I find constantly popping up is the issue of getting friends when a foreigner moves to NH. I keep saying, that being open and social she'd get plenty of friends. From what I've learned people are very active in all type of stuff in NH, but I'd like to know, and this might be off topic, if there's truly activity for women around the age of 27 and other activity than around freedom issues like painting.

My wife is able to stay busy and she's 24.  There are definitely non-libertarian social things just like anywhere else.
Logged
Moved?  Email Moved@FreeStateProject.org to let them know where you landed, and to get your mover number.

Curien

  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #24 on: July 04, 2009, 12:00:42 pm »

-Update-

I've signed the Statement of Intent. I will be up by the end of this year or the middle of next.

It's hard when your logic says to go, but heart says to stay. It's hard, when you try to to convince with valid arguments and proofs, but you have no success. It's hard when you hear the other say "I believe you and you are probably right but.."

In the end we have to ask what we want from our lives and with what price. Live free or die kind of says it best.

This was my situation exactly. I can't wait to join you in NH.
Logged

sj

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3554
    • The Ridley Report
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #25 on: July 04, 2009, 12:22:33 pm »

Welcome!  Be sure to let us know when you get here.
Logged
Moved?  Email Moved@FreeStateProject.org to let them know where you landed, and to get your mover number.

Rebel

  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 693
  • FSP Expat atm
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #26 on: July 04, 2009, 02:10:06 pm »

Sweet, Curien! Can't wait to meet ya.
Logged

J’raxis 270145

  • First 1000
  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1955
  • DILIGE·QVOD·VIS·FAC
    • Jeremy J. Olson
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #27 on: July 05, 2009, 07:40:05 pm »

-Update-

I've signed the Statement of Intent. I will be up by the end of this year or the middle of next.

Excellent! ;D
Logged

K. Darien Freeheart

  • FSP Participant
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 760
    • K. Darien Freeheart's Facebook
Re: Walking away.
« Reply #28 on: July 06, 2009, 01:11:52 pm »

Quote
I've signed the Statement of Intent. I will be up by the end of this year or the middle of next.

Congrats!
Logged
Pages: 1 [2]   Go Up